How To Love A Words Of Affirmation Man
A few weeks ago, I heard some very interesting conversation about how we love ourselves at times. We say things like “I’m not beautiful enough,” or “I don’t fit into my own clothes,” or even “I didn’t get enough sleep, so I’m just not that attractive today.”
Some people feel that they aren’t good enough because they make little money or can’t seem to find their dream job. There are always going to be reasons why you may not believe in yourself, but here is something important to know – you ARE enough!
You have a name you are proud of. You were born into this world, and with all due respect, it does NOT belong to anyone else. Your life thus far has given you access to this world, your thoughts, and you. YOU are worthy of our appreciation and admiration.
Words matter, and when we talk to ourselves, we create internal beliefs and expectations for ourselves. The more positive conversations you have about yourself, the higher your self-esteem will rise.
We speak nonstop to ourselves inside our heads. Many of us tell ourselves stories about who we are not every minute of every day. It’s time to start changing those stories. Here are 10 ways to give you credit for your achievements and affirmations for your potential.
Make time for affection
A lot of people get stuck in a rut because they don’t feel loved or wanted, so they stop trying to win someone’s love.
If you want to keep someone, if you want them to stay, you have to make an effort to show that you care about them and desire their company.
This can be as simple as calling them every day, texting them daily messages, sending flowers or gifts, making frequent appearances at their place of work, etc.
It’s hard to put additional efforts into showing your love when they’re not feeling it, but really need your attention somewhere else.
So, try being more active with your relationships.
Give reassurance
A words of affirmation are anything from telling someone they look good to telling them how smart or cool you think they are. They can be general statements like “You always know what to say” or something more specific like, “Your creative ideas really inspired me.”
A few weeks ago, I told you about my friend who asked if she could run some errands for me while I was busy the next day. As it turned out, her running these errands made us discover a great restaurant we now love going to twice a month!
Her doing this gave me an opportunity to review the space, talk with owner/chef Chris Malusak, and learn a couple things about running a business. It also helped me develop my own leadership skills as I had to take over the table booking at the restaurant when he left to focus on his job.
Not only that, but she went above and beyond by taking time off work to do this for me, which is very self-sacrificial. She knows I appreciate it and said so often.
Words have power. The way we use them has power. Use them well and right, they can strengthen you, motivate you, and inspire you. —Mandy Hale, Motivational Speaker
So why don’t people use more positive verbalizations? Perhaps because we fear what we might hear back, or worry about being judged or put down.
Be a good listener
A person will not get very far talking about how much they want or need something unless you are listening to that desire or need, and then responding with “I’m sure you are already working on those things, so we can leave this alone now.”
When someone is trying to tell you what they want, they are likely trying to figure out whether you are interested in having similar wants as them. This could make them feel rejected or even insecure if you don’t seem like your own personal desires match theirs.
If you are able to recognize their desire as worthy and reasonable, then you have done it some pretty heavy lifting for them. Now they can focus on wanting whatever it is for themselves instead of also needing your approval.
By being a good listener, you show respect for others and allow them to talk about who and what they are without interruption. This applies particularly well when someone is trying to convince you of something or ask for help with an idea.
Ask for reassurance
A few simple things you can do to love someone more is ask them how they are every day, and try to make them feel loved at all times.
This includes asking if they had a good morning, what they ate for breakfast, whether they took care of their responsibilities, and if they slept well.
It also means checking in via phone or chat app once a week, maybe even less frequently than that if they seem busy.
If you’re ever feeling hurt or insecure, ask yourself why it is. Is it because they didn’t call you or text you enough? Because they don’t respond quickly when you message them?
Because they never talk about themselves? If so, then chances are there’s something going on in their life right now that makes them unable to be open with you.
Tell them how they make you feel
A lot of people – even if they claim to like you – will not like you for at least one reason: You. They will not like you because you are too talkative, too pushy, or not modest enough with your conversations.
You need to realize that this is totally unnecessary and unhealthy for their mental well-being. If someone doesn’t seem to like you, chances are good that it has nothing to do with you as person but rather their own insecurities.
If a friend seems to avoid you, walk away from them, maybe try talking to them about it to figure out what is going on. It could be something you said or did that set them off, so trying to understand why they reacted that way can help fix the problem.
But don’t worry about changing anything you say or done unless they ask you to! Only speak up if you want to, and only change things if you really wanted to keep the friendship.
Be consistent
A lot of people begin using words of affirmation with false promises or without any intention of keeping their word. It is very important that before you start saying things like, “You are beautiful” or “You have a great body,” that you mean them!
It would be best to check out some more tips here before starting to say such nice things to yourself. Make sure your self-talk is positive so that you can reap the benefits of words of affirmations.
Once you have mastered that, then try investing in some personal success books or reading through our list of blogs for help with other parts of your life.
Be adventurous
Let’s look at it from another angle – what does it mean to love someone who is not romantic? What about your parents, friends, or colleagues that may not make eye contact with you but still want to know you are thinking about them and wishing them well?
It means they care about you, and hope you have the same things going for you as they do. It also means they expect to see you doing good things, and hoping you will in fact be one of those good things.
That’s why it’s so important to develop relationships that go beyond just having fun together. Make time to talk about things that matter to you. Ask how their day was, and if there’s anything they would like to discuss.
Does anyone else ever feel like people get more emotional during an argument than before? I think we can all agree that’s ugly, and sometimes even scary.
But when we challenge each other, speak our truth with no pretenses, that’s where growth happens. When we listen instead of talking, ask questions, take notes — that’s where understanding comes.
Do not look them in the eye
Looking someone in the eyes is a way to show strong interest or admiration, but it can also be a way to make them feel uncomfortable or even stressed out. When you do this with a person who loves words, it may push them away from you.
Words matter to people. For some, using powerful, meaningful language brings happiness, while for others it could cause stress. Learning how to use appropriate levels of vocabulary is important so that they don’t take offense to what you say.
Don’t stare at someone when they talk to you. Give them your full attention by looking directly into their eyes, but only if they ask you to. If they get nervous, they might lower their gaze or turn away.
Avoid making direct eye contact longer than five seconds because it can come off as intimidating or aggressive. Take a few short breaks during a conversation to refocus on each other.
Try limiting yourself to one word comments at first until you know more about the person. More advanced tips include saying something like “You said such and such made you think about x, y, and z. What happened?” or “What did I miss?” but only if it’s relevant otherwise people will assume there was a fight.